Well Steve and I have officially moved into the Big Prayer House. And it's truly caught me by surprise. I am loving the idea of being in the house and the opportunity it is to be working in and for our community.... The shocking part was how scared, unsettled, angry and sad I felt.
Say what!?!? I am moving in a house dedicated to prayer, God, love and generally good vibes and the major emotions I have been feeling are negative? I think it really weirded me out because I just couldn't understand myself. Whenever I experience the unexplainable it always harder to accept.
I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about this. I've been so busy moving that honestly beside little snippets of prayer saying "oh thanx for letting us move here God" I haven't really been chatting with Him at all. (I mean I had boxes to unpack and rooms to organize!!) ***blush****shame***ducks head****
When I was at work someone asked me how it was going. I answered honestly and said "Well we got all the boxes and stuff into the house, but this move caught me off guard... I didn't expect to FEEL different with this move because we just were moving around the corner"....
I didn't expect to FEEL different....
This move caught me off guard...
I kept thinking about how I responded to my co-worker...wondering even more why this was? The other day as I was deep in thought I started asking God what the deal was. Why was I finding this hard? What were these feelings? This move isn't FAR... I've moved much FURTHER in the past, shouldn't this be easy?
I didn't audibly hear a voice, but this soft thought came into my head followed by the sweet comfort that I have come to know as my God being near to me... "Moving nearer to me isn't always easy, but it will be worth it." and then "Learn what this feels like, let it teach you, let it grow you."
Let it teach me what? Let it grow me?
Why is God so weird!!?!?
Why is God so weird!!?!?
I had to let this question really sink into my soul. How could moving just around the corner teach me more about God or people? What was he on about? I chewed on it a bit more.
This morning Steve kissed me good-bye before his went to work... I tried to fall back asleep (because he leaves crazy early in the morning to go to his school job. Hollah!! out there for all the teacher, staff, parents and students that do that on a regular biases!), but for some reason this morning I couldn't doze back off. I started thinking again about this place and how we have moved here to pray and how we believe that prayer changes things.
Then it hit me. God was teaching me how to be understanding and accepting of people who don't yet believe in him, or those who desperately want to pray and learn to chat with him, but think they have to sort out their life first before God will speak to them, or people that have KNOWN God for years, but just want to BE with him, or people that want to be spiritual, but are held back by their logic and feelings and struggle to understand or believe in God because they can't feel Him, or people like ME who get crazy busy with life and we forget to include God in it...
For all those people that hold back, get distracted or are down right lazy (me!) from MOVING nearer to God because they think connecting with God is some BIG moment with out realizing its more about the little moments, the little effort, the little moves that often bring us the nearest to God.
Being connected to God isn't about GREAT MOVES... its simply rising to the challenge to move nearer to God when and where he has us.
But wait a second "moving nearer to God"? That is a bit out there, how can we as regular people move nearer to God?!? We realistically can't shoot ourselves into the heavens can we?
But wait a second "moving nearer to God"? That is a bit out there, how can we as regular people move nearer to God?!? We realistically can't shoot ourselves into the heavens can we?
I wondered how we do this... How do I do this? Then a bible verses popped into my head:
"The Word (that's Jesus, the Son of God) became flesh and blood.... " just stop for a moment and think about that... the very spiritual, unseen, untouchable, unfeelable God the Son decided to be changed into something physical, seen, touchable and feeling-ful... woah! But back to this verse...
"The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one of a kind glory, like Father, like Son, GENEROUS inside and out, TRUE from start to finish." (John 1:14)
Are you getting this? God, who created all of this universe, if you can wrap your mind and heart around believing, went from being a fully spiritual being to being both fully God AND fully man.... and then he...
Took over the world....
Found the biggest and most royal castle and ruled the world he created from there.....
defeated every great ruler of his time and became the Emperor of the World!!!!!!
What!?!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!
This great God of ours, through Jesus, chose to begin his great story simply when he "moved into the neighborhood".
Not a great move, but a small one... not an easy move, but a hard one (after all it cost Jesus his life!). A totally SPIRITUAL act of redemption through a totally PHYSICAL act of living and being human on this earth. God's story of connecting to us is about him moving his spiritual self to connect with our physical reality in an effort to show us that are physical existence is connected to his spiritual reality.
Say what!?!? Basically what I am trying to say is this: if you want to meet God, if you want to connect with Him, if you want to BE with him... sometimes you need to be willing to MOVE.
Sometimes that moving will involve you moving from one form of thinking to another, maybe another moving will be about you intentionally getting up and going to a prayer room and being there to pray, or maybe in your own home you need to move from sitting when you pray to kneeing (or vis-a-versa) or maybe you will be moved to help your neighbor, share your food or be friendly to a stranger, or maybe you need to move to get your bible and actually read it and learn who this God is about instead of just saying all the time you want to know God but never making the effort to meet him, or maybe he is asking you to move house...
I think sometimes people look at people who are "into God" or "more spiritual then they are" and they simply assume that those people where born that way or dipped in some kind of special holy water. Those people who are better than us at being Godly must have some super God gene that was just built into them...right?? right?? RIGHT!?!?
Well let me tell you, as someone that is "into God", I am no different than any other person. I have questions about God existence, I am jealous of those who are more kind, compassionate and loving than myself, sometimes I want to slap people who are able to trust God and be secure in His love when their lives are going down the crapper. I struggle on a daily biases to even care to read my bible, pray or attend church gatherings.... BUT (and there is always a good but in the end of a blog).... I learned a few years back that "MOVING nearer to God isn't always easy, but it is WORTH IT".
So here is the challenge for us all. If you are interested in connecting with God when was the last time you moved for him? Not just spiritually ... but physically too! When did you last move to pick up that bible, kneel down to pray, go for a walk to talk to God, make that meal for the sick person, donate to your local homeless shelter, be kind to that lonely neighbor, recycle to take care of the planet, teach your kids to value quality over quantity, attended that group that talks about Jesus, went to a prayer room to meet God....???
The list of how, when and where to meet God is endless and totally personal... I couldn't begin to tell you how to do it... but I do know it will take YOU MOVING! After all, connecting with God is a two way street, its as much about God moving into our neighbourhood to be with us as it is about us moving into God.
So will you move?
I will because today I am Moved to Pray.
I thought it was bout time that I updated everyone on the life of the Lawton Mafia... Jr.Edition.
It has now been 5 months that we have been living with our neighbour Tracy... Neighbour isn't a strong enough word for this woman. She has become so much more to Steve and I. She really has gone out of her way over the last 5 months to show Steve and I what true hospitality, friendship, care-FULL-ness and love really is. I feel like I have gained a new family member and the way Steve and I get to attend her family gatherings so naturally, is truely priceless. I never expected to fall so madly and deeply in love with her and even though Steve and I are really excited to move to the community house, it will be with heavy hearts and many tears that we leave Tracy's. She truely is a Legand. She even would endure dinners with us when we invited over our favorite little neighbour Amara!
Steve and I have had an epic summer holiday. We started July off with a TREAT. We finally saved enought money to buy ourselves a new car. We were really proud of this because it meant that we actually had to talk about money and be adult-ish in our lives... and getting the car seemed to be a mark of success that perhaps we are becoming mature and capable adults.
At the end of July we got to take a mini Vay-Kay to the English Channel Island of Guernsey. Steve and I were really happy to go back to the site of our honeymoon and laugh as we rememembered what it was like being first married and totally gob smacked with each other. We did a lot of island smooches. And we got to go wedding dress shopping (well the girls, the boys went fishing) with Steve's little sister Hannah, who went and fell in love with a Guernsey Boy. She gets married next September! love weddings!
A week after that we packed up our, new to us, car and hit the road. We had 14 days and we decided to go on an road trip through France and Spain. Sprance or Frain.... whatever you prefer. It was such a quality time of being together and learning about what we both appreciate out of life. I think as a Christian, soon to be leader of a communal house, the thing that struck me most about our journey was learning that people who are searching need clear and obvious signs of what is coming up, how to get there and what is on offer. It needs to be clearly visible and in a clear language that they understand. Our journey re-inspired my love for being a spiritual guide and some of the views and experiences we had were truely intimate relationships growing times between me and God. He really took care of us the whole trip and both Steve and I look back at the two week journey and see how God was with us and working things out for us every step of the way. We ended our trip promising each other that we would remember how God stood by us in the good and bad momensts of the trip and took it to be a very tangible promise for our future and time to come in our communal house. This also fulfilled a life long goal of mine to go camping in France!
When we got back from our road trip we got to help put on our "Big Gathered Sunday". Steve and I were in-charge of worship and we did this reflective workship activity. We needed some wood and we called in our our friend and creator of Anrik Creations (on a side note he makes amazing wood furniture all from recycled wood!). We used the wood we got and grabbed some sandpaper and encouraged people to imagine themselves as the wood and God as the sandpaper and to reflect on the type of contact God and them have as they sanded this bit of wood. Then we got people to write what they love most about God all over the bits of wood. It was really a great worship experience and I totally recommend trying it.
However... I also need to update loads of you on our COMMUAL HOUSE. So we get to move into the new house the weekend of 14/15 of September. We can barley wait. I went in to the house over this weekend to help Katy and Rich (very minimally) as they were moving out. I walked into the prayer room and there scrolled out on one of our prayer walls was my big ass written prayer to God about how deeply I wanted to live in a home dedicated to him, how we wanted it to be a house with multiple family names in it, that we wanted it to be a house of prayer for the nations. Next to that I wrote a prayer about how I wanted more Godly men to join our community and really bring the change our neighborhood is crying out for.... gentleness, peace, fathers. My throat got all tight and my eyes a bit misty (hold on just like they are doing now!)... God has really provided for us. I shook my head as I was reading back my prayers to myself... Steve and I are getting to move into a house that many of our neighbours call the "God House", we have mutliple family names moving in as a girl from our community AND a boy from Germany have committed to join our house-share!! plus with the addition of the German boy, God sweeps in and answered three of my prayers in one move (male, international and 4th person!... God be clever like that!).
Steve and I went to B&Q a few days ago because we also have been allowed to choose COLOURS to paint into the house. I know to most of you this wont be that big of a thing, but for me, as we were gettting the paint I was thinking of that bible verse "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world!".... Did you feel that... the shiver!? HA well I did... I am getting so excited to keep being the light... to show people the God-colors he painted them in and how beautiful this worls is when seen in His light!
Woah! Super Spiritual!
Taking it back to normals-ville, Steve and I have just bought tennis rackets at a bootsale and we went and played for the first time and really enjoyed it. we are hoping to get into it more! we even went and looked into joining a tennis club, but i don't think we are posh enough. :)
Steve also has been saying his poetry here and there at local gigs and festivals and we are hoping that he will publish one of his poems in a book before the end of this year. He starts school on Tuesday... so back to working world for him.
Plus we have been having lots of BBQs and our favourites are with our roomie Tracy and her family!
I am most looking forward to throwing a housewarming party that rocks the freaking block, have a killer halloween gathering, enjoying a scrummy Thanxgiving with my brother who is going to visit from America AND having the most fabulous 30th Prom Themed Birthday Party in early December (keep posted for more on that!).
Just wanted to flag up this really great moment in life. The last day of August and in my mind summer... and just say I am so ready for this Autumn, this epic summer was just a taster of how things are going to go this next year. So LET THE GAMES BEGIN! :)
I constantly am trying to convince good people to come get involved in what we are doing in Colchester. (if you have been the target of my 'move to colchester movement' know that I think you are cool, that you have a great passion for jesus and you could be used here to some pretty great stuff!).
Steve and I love getting to be a part of our Boiler Room Community on our normal, little estate. It is so ordinary but so lovely. We are really blessed that the people that live around us are so generous and accepting. WE LOVE PEOPLE... and we want to help to make good things happen for people here on this estate. WE LOVE JESUS... and we are desperate to find good and relevant ways to share his story, pray for people and make spaces for people to have their own personal Jesus encounter.
There are lots of reasons why we love Jesus so much, but honestly its better to see that love in action than talk about it, so you will have to come visit us if you want to know why and how we love Jesus so much!
Plus, Colchester is an up and coming town I have no doubt. We can get a fast train to london in less than an hour, the music scene is exploding and I am not joking (every time we go to an open mic night or gig somewhere the talent is phenomenal). We have a few secret hidden gems for wining and dinning. Plus WE HAVE A CASTLE! wink wink.
So if you have ever fancied living in a missional community, if you have been thinking to yourself you need a move or a change but can't think where to go, if you need a good job and don't really care where you live, if you are coming to colchester for uni but don't want to live in greenstead, if you fancy moving to a neighbourhood where you can meet neighbours, do good things and get yummy roast dinners on sunday.... then think about getting in touch with me and lets see about working out a way for you to move here to Malborough Estate.
Also here are some killer job I have recently found on line that might help make you see the practical big picture of how you are going to make this happen!
Behavior Support Worker: work in schools to help model positive behavior
http://www.workingforessex.com/details.aspx?nPostingID=16176&nPostingTargetID=168854&option=52&sort=DESC&respnr=1&ID=QZUFK026203F3VBQB8M8MF60R&LOV1=6178&Resultsperpage=20&lg=UK&mask=external
School Crossing Patrol Officer: be a lollipop lady! (or man!!)
http://www.workingforessex.com/details.aspx?nPostingID=15987&nPostingTargetID=168499&option=52&sort=DESC&respnr=1&ID=QZUFK026203F3VBQB8M8MF60R&LOV1=6178&Resultsperpage=20&lg=UK&mask=external
Business Sourcing Placement Assistant: help process applications for colchester borough counceil
http://www.workingforessex.com/details.aspx?nPostingID=15798&nPostingTargetID=167859&option=52&sort=DESC&respnr=1&ID=QZUFK026203F3VBQB8M8MF60R&LOV1=6178&Resultsperpage=20&lg=UK&mask=external
Trainee Chef: make great food
https://jobsearch.direct.gov.uk/GetJob.aspx?JobID=1535027&JobTitle=Trainee+Chef%2fCommis+Chef&rad=5&rad_units=miles&pp=25&sort=rv.dt.di&vw=b&re=134&setype=2&tjt=&where=co2+7qw&q=&AVSDM=
General Assistant: help serve customers and run touchscreen till
https://jobsearch.direct.gov.uk/GetJob.aspx?JobID=1743528&JobTitle=General+Assistant&rad=5&rad_units=miles&pp=25&sort=rv.dt.di&vw=b&re=3&setype=2&tjt=&where=co2+7qw&q=&pg=2&AVSDM=
Before and After School Club Chaperone: possibility of extra hours as a playworker
http://jobsearch.essex-eyjobs.co.uk/pages/job_search_view.aspx?jobId=3696&JobIndex=4&interest=-1&workinghour=-1&qualification=-1&location=12&PageIndex=1&Number=7
Get Connected Project Worker: help vulnerable people to computers and internet
http://www.familymosaiccareers.co.uk/job_description.asp?cid=1185
Temporary Catering at Colchester Zoo!: feed people who come visit the zoo
http://www.colchester-zoo.com/index.cfm?fa=about.job.list§ion=4
Admin and Reception Duties or Guest Host: work at a Spa near Boiler Room
http://www.claricehouse.co.uk/Colchester/Work-For-Us/Work-For-Us
oh the fun that can be had!!
About Me
- Teen Bean
- I'm just some regular girl trying her best to be a good friend, woman, christ-follower, wife, mom and adventurer (in no particular order). I love variety, trying new things and meeting new people and sharing experiences with others. All of which in one form or another can be found in this space. WELCOME!
Heart Heart Time!
Stevie and Beanie
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