Posted by Teen Bean

so once a year... as every good health professional knows.... its good to do a little spring cleaning. i had a think about it and decided to do a nice and simple Raw Food Body Detox!

the process shall cleanse my liver and allow me to more easily digest food and provided appropriate nutrition to my body. The first day of only eating raw fruits and veggies has been intense. i kept being like "i'm still hungry"...

we are talking about a girl that normally gets her fill on dairies and breads.... hmmm being satisfied just from mother earth!?!?! is it possible!!!???

this also got me to wondering about how spiritually i could do with a little detox as well.... which then brought up the topic of fasting... i think i do fasting wrong. because i was realizing today, as i was body detoxing and as hungry as hell, that i was fasting from certain favorites... like CHEESE! to give my body a little jump start into healthy mode... but was also being allowed to eat as many veggies and fruits as i wanted.

i always struggle eating veggies... but give me fruit and i am one happy girl. This got me to thinking. I really should fast something, but choose something i really like doing, but never get around to doing as my added in "free for all"... now i just gotta think what i wanna do... hmmmm

Dear Transit 09/10

Posted by Teen Bean

once upon a time there were four girls... they all lived in a big house... in the center of a not so big town. they came to do something big, but loads of times they felt like they just stood still.


The longer they lived in that house together, the more "doing big" took from them. first sweat, then tears, then blood.

But doing also gave. It surprised the girls, because each had to do in a way they never had before. The leader had to serve, the silent had to speak, the loud had to be silent, the servant had to lead. but through their weaknesses, they learned prayer brought Power.

at first it was hard to find that rhythm of Power. The Power always seemed to ask the opposite of what each girl felt like she was able to give. The Power push them, it stretch them, it formed them... and before each girl knew it... their weaknesses became theirs strengths.

and in a moment they realized they were called to fight.... to the most holy of battles.

their identity no longer as observers, but as warriors. their battle position... on their knees.

their duty

to defend
to protect
to recover...

the broken, the forgotten, the hurt, the abused, the lonely.... not only in deed but in SPIRIT!

Day and night they did not leave their post, but faith they lived through victories and defeat. They realied on each others encouragement to spur them on and each battle strengthened and motived them. They covered much ground, they claimed many. But there was so much more to do!

Soon their post became a place. a shelter. a home.

the broken their friends, the forgotten their loved ones, the hurt their allies, the abused their support, the lonely their family. When the girls saw they would be called to other battles in other places they gathered.... this time for the future of what they hoped and dreamed for their home...

and as in times before, they called out, but this time for faithful replacements, for stronger forces, for MORE!

their prayers became Power and each girl gentle let go...

and they came... the new, the faithful, the strong, The More! Six all together... and they did not hesitate in grabbing the opportunities that had been laid before them...

battles were fought, time moved on.

and one day, on the back of a gale force wind, each of the four girls, in their new battles, in their new places, in their new homes, heard the echos of a great celebration. And on the twirling wind they heard the whispers of what The 6 More had done. How they had honored the work of the four girls and more genuinely reflected the Power..... how The 6 More had been great warriors and had served their post, their cause, their home well! The broken were mended, the forgotten remembered, the hurt healed, the abused cared for, the lonely welcomed. The four girls were amazed by how The 6 More had done even bigger then they had ever hopped or imagined!

and as each of the girls knelt to do battle in their new post, they were encouraged, inspired, and motivated by the lives of The 6 More.... and they called out "Well done, Well done" in which the very heavens replied "My good and faithful servants!"

(this photo was taken by Alana Wiens, I stole it from her fb)

thank you so much transit 09/10 for being faithful in your lives and beautifully reflecting the prayers of MORE that Carla, Gemma, Charl, and I cried out for! you have blessed us so much! and you have no idea how incredible it is to see my prayers, for real, being lived!

oh and if it already hasn't been said "you better effing hold on, because God has even MORE! this is only the beginning!"

the sun

Posted by Teen Bean

i don't know about you, but the sun makes me 100% happier. I had to take the bus to class today and normally the bus ride is a free opportunity to just check out of thinking and life.

but today it was so much fun being on the bus. the sun was so amazing, and the way it just covered everything in happiness had me laughing out loud... seriously!

the most amazing was realizing that the 520 bridge has these amazing little canals that are covered with lilly pads... and i saw people canoeing! i really have decided that one of my summer adventures is to figure out how i can rent a canoe and go on one of these said adventures! i love how much the sun makes me actually see the nature that normally I just let blur by...


oh and steve comes in 19 days, so i am pretty much exploding with excitement!!!

p.s. i found some goggles while i was walking through the park and have decided they are my new summer look... wore them to class and everything... wink wink!


good day!

Posted by Teen Bean

ahhh it was a really good day today.

i went this morning to look at a potential "community house" ... i absolutely fell in love with it... but you know, we are just trying not latch on. But it was just this perfectly charming apt. It is in this big 1900s house. The house has been broken down into 9 different units... we looked at a 3 bedroom apt and then a 4 bedroom unit that was in the back ... as the "servant house" mwahahahaha!

but it just felt like such a good vibe to a community. Tiffany and I both were laughing and bubbling the whole way through the apartment tours and are so excited by the potential. Even as the renter was telling us about our potential neighbor we were smiling ear to ear... a group of girls working with americore, a single mom with two kids, and a guy that runs a half way house for drug addicts... we put in an application and sent out appropriate e-mails so here is hoping.

then i got to go to a creativity lesson... This guy Rob Gregerson, that I met through a random matrix of connections, is teaching me the are of discovering my creativity. It was one of the best experiences! We talked about how there is this essense in each one of us that wants to flow out of us. He likened it to water. He said this potential "water" that wants to flow out of us is creativity and prayer!!! how amazing is that!

we then talked about how important it is to remember that we are called to be vessels and that, even more importantly, we are called to be these transparent vessels that simple show who God is through us! it was absolutely brilliant.

It was so helpful and I left there kinda scared and sooo excited. I have homework to do these "Morning Pages" where in the morning I have to write a full pages of just any, and everything, that is on my mind... no matter how crazy, weird, messed up, it is... we practiced as well and it was intense... i ended up writing loads of questions and fears i have about love... which is soo interesting.

then i had to go to the east side and see about getting my car fixed... I got a 99¢ chicken burrito from taco bell!!! yum! then had the honor of driving home in rush hour traffic... so yeh for the warm sun and a loud radio...

then i called my mom... had a little chit chat! then wrote a paper... and now i am off to work!

holllahhhh out for wednesdays... they be good! ;)


Posted by Teen Bean

have you ever noticed how many no signs there are in the world?


is it just me or does sometimes life just seem like a big NO SIGN!

hahaha i was walking down the street and i just wanted to put up loads of yes signs...

Please Park Here
Yes Loiter Here
Trespassing Welcome
Yes Dogs!
Enter Here
Yes Smoking
Yes Skating
Yes U Turn
Yes Pictures
Touch all you want!
Please Drink
Yes Food!

what a life it would be!!!

the end of Act 2

Posted by Teen Bean

so we went and scoped out a community house yesterday. We prayed a bit about being able to hear God's voice really clearly. Easy enough to say we totally did. The house was fine, but just not our home... both Tiffany and I knew it straight after... so the search is on...

but as we were praying for the community, i re-read the end bit of acts 2

They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved.

I always have been such a hater when it come to those seeker sensitive churches and people that ask the questions like "do people like what they see?"... i think in the long run this is coming from a desire to not be about pleasing people, but pleasing God... but that being said this week i really started asking myself the question "Do people like the expression of Church they are seeing me live?"

I am starting to realize that righteousness, light, and good is attractive. sometimes christians share their faith as if it is a disease. Often we apologize over and over for our faith or the lifestyle it calls us to. Obviously this comes from a history of Christians that have claimed the name of Christ as they carried out various evils in our world, but alas I really want to enter a season of living where the church is attractive... not in a watered down, pathetic sort of way, but in a challenging, serving, and loving sort of way.

where those word quoted above "People in general liked what they saw." really does lead to the next statement and "Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved."

in exactly one month!

Posted by Teen Bean

in exactly one month Steve come to stay with me for 6 weeks. I am sooo excited to have him around for a big chuck of my most favorite time of year... and if this week is any reflection of how beautiful seattle weather is going to be ... then darn right we are going to have a good time.

Its really cool too because life is just really coming together. Classes are moving right along, my practicum is completely up in the air, i have zero idea what direction my thesis is going, i put amazing fairy lights up above my bed, i've learned where the grocery store, the cheesecake factory, and my good friend Jenny lives in reference to my new apt, steve possibly has a place to volunteer with this summer, i'v found a guy to take creative lessons (thesis focused) from, we've been praying regularly as a community ... and life just seems really peaceful.

sometimes i think i should stress more, but what good has that ever done?

So summer here we go... steve's coming, the sun is out, school is winding down, my creative mind is gearing up, and prayer is happening... life is on!

fyi: when the seattle bus tunnel is going to be closed for engineer work... the least they could do is post on the gate the new pick up location... missed my darn bus for work :(
p.s. i really love steve lawton!

sex trafficking in my face

Posted by Teen Bean

this weekend i joined a friend of mine who is helping host an event at a club in downtown seattle. The event "Defend and Empower" is a benefit to stop sex trafficking in Thailand. I am so pumped by the idea of bringing really relevant ways to this generation to make a difference. "Clubbing with a Difference" is like my version of heaven.

So this weekend we prettied ourselves up and hit up the streets of seattle to get people excited about coming next weekend for this event. Let me just say, me and flyering goes together like peanut butter and jelly, like burt and ernie, like rapper and gold chains! I was having so much fun dashing here and dashing there... chatting with people... and seeing a few domestics!

As we rounded one of our last corners, a big ol' white Escalade was parked up. Most the girls were chatting with another group and as they did this man all swaggered out of the car. He was dressed head to toe in the most flashy red outfit. Red velvet jacket, white suit pants, an shiny red shoes... the shoes were freaking amazing... so as he stepped out of this escalade i was like "wooooahh nice shoes!"

as i was saying this the rest of the girls in my group were coming up to me and this guys was like "ahhh beautiful ladies" can i get a picture.... in the events that followed we witnessed not only a full on pimp at work, but also saw one of the girls he was working.

I have been around what i assumed was sex trafficking before, just as i have been in other clubbing places of the world. But this was the first time i full on chatted with a pimp and actually came face to face with a young women who was obviously being used and abused (though from appearance she just looked like a fully gorgeous women, her eyes told another story..)

as we moved away, and rang a hot line to report this sex trafficking incident, and then quickly had to mingle into a club crowd as we were being followed by some shady guy that had been working with the pimp... i was freaking messed up.

sex trafficking is one thing, but sex trafficking in my face took on a whole different meaning. I have a few really good friends that are pretty hard core about stopping sex trafficking and after my experience last night i totally understand them more.

I've been praying lately to have a deeper understanding of what life in seattle is like. again, the beautifully hidden suffering stirs my heart in a way that brings both pain and passion!

I am so excited for the Defend and Empower event if that is what just went on when we went and handed out flyers... i can only imagine what is coming next! scared and excited! totally need to be covering this one in prayer!

5 pairs of feet

Posted by Teen Bean

I very rarely consider my feet

Or how they help me live my life

With a certain rhythm and beat

Or how they reflect my privileged life,

the American standard I meet.

That is until I saw their five pairs of feet

Huddle together trying to fight my life’s

Rhythm and beat,

Being reminded of their lack of privilege

And “failure” of standards to meet.

And so young

And so young

And so young

Dirty, mismatched, wet, and cold

My feet had to pause

at the story their feet told

Suddenly my heart wasn’t so bold

And the rhythm I live got really old

The tears that came were selfish

Blankets, new socks, a bath???

All I really wanted was to hide those feet away

To simply move their pain out of my way

To empty my guilt from that public doorway

And what can I do?

Our feet all walk this same street,

Trying to get in the same rhythm and beat,

Struggling to find a place to simply meet

How I love and dread those five pairs of feet…

the great bus dash

Posted by Teen Bean

so wow i have become an expert at dashing to catch the bus.

what is it about public transportation and having to run!?!?!

all i know is that yesterday it was raining so hard that as i ran through the puddles i kept wishing that buses would pick you up at your door!

my feet were wet all night :(

but i must say there is a bit of pride and a sense of accomplishment every time i clock out out of work at 0554 and dash 6 block to catch the 0558 express bus into seattle!

helks yeh for being a natural bus dasher!

church is not a place but the people

Posted by Teen Bean

so i know loads of time i have been told this in my life, that "the church is not a building". And i know lately i have been all about how church needs to not focus on the individual over the collective. But i was reading a book the other day on hospitality... it is a brilliant read. "Untamed Hospitality: Welcoming God and Other Strangers" by Elizabeth Newman.

she made this statement

"After all, the church is frequently identified as "the house of God". In scripture, in fact, it is not so much that Christians have a house as that they are a house (1 Peter 2: 4-6); they are knit together in the Spirit into a "dwelling place for God".

It was in the moment of reading this that, i just really stopped and thought of my life. I have always been drawn to the church; how she is, how she lives, how she presents herself a holy bride to the Christ. And above all i just want in.

I never have fit super well into what the traditional church does and more then anything i just find that upsetting and depressing. I love church... i want to be excited about her and being a part of what defines her.

In University I spent a wonderful summer studying the book of Isaiah with one of the best crew of girls i have ever had the honor of running with.

I'll bring them to my holy mountain
and give them joy in my house of prayer.
They'll be welcome to worship the same as the 'insiders,'
to bring burnt offerings and sacrifices to my altar.
Oh yes, my house of worship
will be known as a house of prayer for all people.

Isaiah 56:5-6

this chapter burned into my heart. Sense that moment i have been praying to build this house of prayer. To see this promise fulfilled. To be an insider. Every season of my life i am reminded of this promise that is burned on my heart. But in every season i wonder... when do I get to build this house of prayer for all nation?

As I read through this book... it was one of the biggest "ahhh haaaa" moments of my life. This promise God whispered so beautifully in my ear, has been fulfilled. It was fulfilled the moment i offered my whole self to God and the moment God took up residnecy in my heart. And it had nothing to do with me building anything and everything to do with God forming everything. My individual heart, and its ability to connect through the Spirit to the hearts of all God followers, is the house of prayer... the house of prayer for all people (i.e. the church).

It was big moment because, again i realized i will not be building any house of prayer, that it is God who builds this house of prayer. It also was hugely humbling to realize what an honor it is to be loved by God in such an extreme way that he would allow me to be involved in the church by actually "being the church"!!

And so again, i find myself re-visiting and re- understand the vision and mission of becoming a "house of prayer for all people", a place of welcoming the lost, of caring for the outsiders, of living out hospitality with kingdom value.

good bye... How?

Posted by Teen Bean

I just loved having the girls here the last two weeks. To say the least, me living on my own has been one of the hardest things of my life... as one of my old roomies from college used to say "Tina you get energy from people".

And that would be the truth.

Finding my energy in God while i live alone has been quite a scavenger hunt. But God and i have been doing fairly well. Moving to my new place in the cit just connects a lot of dots for me. I love doing things that scare me or new adventures, and moving to the city on my own was definitely a new and scary adventure.

I was surprised at how nervous and unsure i was as a 26 year old woman. I definitely remember as a teenager thinking that by the time i was 21 I would finally have that fearlessness that adults have... its been quite the experience learning that loads of fears and uncertainties I had growing up just kinda follow me into adulthood.

Needless to say, i don't want to live my life controlled by fear. I also really just wanted to take on that independence i always spout off about. Usually i find myself wanting to be independent, but really just moving from one place of dependence to the next. It was good to crazy dig into my independence and then have God super reveal to me the importance of dependence and how western culture might just have it wrong in promoting all this individualism.

All that to say... coming full circle these last two weeks and just being able to enjoy the company of two very special women, Hannah Lawton and Claire Ballah, has been in a word incredible (for sure!). The joy of praying together, talking about life, laughing, making dinners together, sharing a very tiny bathroom....

it was a beautiful thing.

This June, and through to the end of august, i have committed to pray every tuesday night for community, living, and relationships. A group of my friends and I are going into a round two of asking God if it would be cool for us to join in some of the work he is doing by starting a community house. I'm not sure if it will happen... but all in all... i feel really positive about whatever God has planned...

Then came the end of the two weeks... bags were packed, notes were written, celebration pho was eaten, and lastly good byes were said...

GOOD? bye?....

i've always struggled with this statement. What about saying bye is good!?!? Hannah and i got to pray a bit before she took off and as we read through chapter 3 of 2 timothy we were reminded that God wants us to live joyfully... even in suffering, or pain, or the tuff stuff of life...

God calls us to be counter-cultural, to be different, to be set apart.

It would be so easy to spend these days, after a tearful good bye, drowning in my sadness, but that really wouldn't reflect the time i had with the girls; the great memories we made, the ways we deeply inspired each other to dig more into our faith journey's, or the hopeful futures we dreamed up.

So i choose Joy... because when i look back to what God and I have scavenger hunted around for... the realization is that it is Joy in all things... in every place... in what ever situation... because bottom line... God is joy!

how was that two weeks!?!?!?

Posted by Teen Bean

so wow time flies when you are having fun!

12 days ago hannah and claire arrive with there little tired english faces. we spent a glorious week exploring ever shopping venue with in the greater seattle area... as well as fitting in a bit of time to see the sights. my favorite day was probably going to the mall one day and randomly deciding that we would be super heros known as "tripod"... its seem most fitting when i naturally yelled out to claire across a shop "T1 we are ready to go" ahh the beauty of robotic super hero nick names... plus we came up with a pretty sweet arm gang sign... TRIPOD!

then clairie had to go home. :(

it was a sad day... hannah and i just kept watching claire walk away being like "seriously? she is going?"

we consoled ourselves by getting Taco Bell... yum...

Then this week has just flown by... we spent a day hanging about in seattle... hannah and i got pretty and went out in Capitol Hill .. which might i add was very complimentary to our outfits... wink da la wink!

then we drove down to moses lake... prolly the worse expression of an american camp ground i ever did lay eyes on... but camping still the same. the best and worst moment... "the sun bit my face"

haha so i got a little over excited about the sun being out and stay out a bit long... and came back a little crispy! and i dragged poor hannah along too... and you know how english fair in the sun... double sad face!

but we managed to fill the rest of the weekend with tree climbing, card games, camp fires, running spoons, rolling down hill, eating s'mores, and adding vodka to english tea (say wot!?!? yes it happened... and it taste oooo so good!)

then monday we woke are little selves up early and headed back and were shocked to find that traffic back was not the nightmare that had been described to us. so hannah and i were able to get all the laundry done, eat green pizza, find ice cream, go shopping, facebook, and figure out that according to the stars, Steve and I are a good match (thank God!).

Profound questions of these last two weeks:

Claire: How do you zoom this camera?

Tina: Is this chocolate suppose to taste like foot fungus?

Claire: What are the different ways eggs come?

Emergent Church Group: If you were going to lead a church what would it do?

Hannah: Are you putting vodka in your tea?

Jess: Is it more biblical to be single or to be married?

Hannah: What did that guy say at the fire... why do you always have to be the retarded kid?

Tina: Is there fair trade make-up?

Tina: Can you see up the trolls nose?

Jello-Shot man at neighboring campsite: Do you have dogs in england?

Mexian man at campfire: want to green?

Tina: Where is 608 Summit?

Tina: Where are all the buses?

Tina: Why are there no buses?

Tina: Why is this bus going that way?

Tina: Why do good-byes have to suck so much???