good bye... How?

Posted by Teen Bean

I just loved having the girls here the last two weeks. To say the least, me living on my own has been one of the hardest things of my life... as one of my old roomies from college used to say "Tina you get energy from people".

And that would be the truth.

Finding my energy in God while i live alone has been quite a scavenger hunt. But God and i have been doing fairly well. Moving to my new place in the cit just connects a lot of dots for me. I love doing things that scare me or new adventures, and moving to the city on my own was definitely a new and scary adventure.

I was surprised at how nervous and unsure i was as a 26 year old woman. I definitely remember as a teenager thinking that by the time i was 21 I would finally have that fearlessness that adults have... its been quite the experience learning that loads of fears and uncertainties I had growing up just kinda follow me into adulthood.

Needless to say, i don't want to live my life controlled by fear. I also really just wanted to take on that independence i always spout off about. Usually i find myself wanting to be independent, but really just moving from one place of dependence to the next. It was good to crazy dig into my independence and then have God super reveal to me the importance of dependence and how western culture might just have it wrong in promoting all this individualism.

All that to say... coming full circle these last two weeks and just being able to enjoy the company of two very special women, Hannah Lawton and Claire Ballah, has been in a word incredible (for sure!). The joy of praying together, talking about life, laughing, making dinners together, sharing a very tiny bathroom....

it was a beautiful thing.

This June, and through to the end of august, i have committed to pray every tuesday night for community, living, and relationships. A group of my friends and I are going into a round two of asking God if it would be cool for us to join in some of the work he is doing by starting a community house. I'm not sure if it will happen... but all in all... i feel really positive about whatever God has planned...

Then came the end of the two weeks... bags were packed, notes were written, celebration pho was eaten, and lastly good byes were said...

GOOD? bye?....

i've always struggled with this statement. What about saying bye is good!?!? Hannah and i got to pray a bit before she took off and as we read through chapter 3 of 2 timothy we were reminded that God wants us to live joyfully... even in suffering, or pain, or the tuff stuff of life...

God calls us to be counter-cultural, to be different, to be set apart.

It would be so easy to spend these days, after a tearful good bye, drowning in my sadness, but that really wouldn't reflect the time i had with the girls; the great memories we made, the ways we deeply inspired each other to dig more into our faith journey's, or the hopeful futures we dreamed up.

So i choose Joy... because when i look back to what God and I have scavenger hunted around for... the realization is that it is Joy in all things... in every place... in what ever situation... because bottom line... God is joy!

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 3, 2010 at Thursday, June 03, 2010 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


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