its especially hard to understand when those happenings cause me some of the most gut twisting pain ever. I've been in America for 23 days... 23 long days. it feels well longer than that. the list of things I've had the chance to get involved in, the relationships that have been resorted, the battles fought, the visions dreamed, the new friendships made... the list goes on. I've learned how to trust God, how to be more honest with him, how he is moving flipping everywhere, how he can use the oddest situations to make you realize that you matter to him...

this week i had the immense honor to meet one of the girls that did Transit in America. A fiery woman, named Rachel, from N. Ireland, intensely gifted in art and uber passionate about being raw for Christ... and completely honest in her dream to stay in America, to keep on keeping on in the mission God has used her in....

her flight for N. Ireland leaves Tuesday.

The irony of how our lives are mirror images, connected us in a deep and wordless way. We've had a few conversations about our harsh realities and how disappointment can really get in the way of trusting God. But the business of helping host this the arts festival that was going on this week took most of our attention.

Today, with the arts festival having a successful end, we all ran away to an amazing wrap up pool party at a refreshing home in beautiful American suburbia. We grilled hamburgers, jumped in a cool pool, and divulged in brownie sundaes. Rachel and I found ourselves frolicking down to a lake covered in lily pads and just sparkling in the heat of the Midwestern summer sun. we had the honor of sharing our brokenness, our disappointments, our fears... and God in his awesomeness was able to use a time of immense pain in my life to instantly draw along this sister in christ and understand her pain and tho i had very few words of wisdom or comfort... the simple reality of being was enough.

it was an odd feeling to realize that I was living proof, that this amazingly strong women of faith, could go through this stage of leaving what she loved. That my story was living proof that God wasn't going to leave her or abandon her, but that just like he was there for me... he is going to be there for her. That the details of our lives matter a lot to him.. that he cared enough about me to get me to this prayer community to be inspired, encouraged, and used ... that he cares enough about her to bring people to help calm, support, and encourage...

then later on that afternoon we had the beautiful honor of watching this scared but immensely strong sister in Christ declare her faithfulness and obedience, as the spontaneous decision was made for her to be baptized. She declared her fears but also her faith. Despite all the pain, and confusion and unknown she dared to believe that God would stay true to his promises and she spoke out loud her commitment to follow him and commit all of herself to him. And in her moment of intense vulnerability, God showed up and confirmed her capability.

we then prayed over her. It broke my heart to see her face this time... i so was just there... its going to hurt... its going to be hard... there are going to be tears, but there was an incredible sense of peace, as God reminded us all that he is our Big Big Papa God and he's is right there even in the intense moments of pain!