so its been a rough week. i have this strange ability of connecting my physical self to my spiritual self... so i am not surprised, at all, that during a week of intense physical flu fatigue i also found myself becoming spiritually fatigued. I also have a bad habit of totally comparing myself to what the people i admire around me are doing... so it was a bad case of feeling apathetically distant from God combined with an intense comparison of what christians i really admire are getting up to and how i wasn't meeting that standard...

to be honest, i just found myself shutting off a little to God, because i just didn't want to care. Kudos to all you wonderful people that stepped in and kept reminding me how much God does care (eee even when i told some of you to shove the God crap!) and an even bigger thanx for everyone who has been thinking of me and praying for me. i would like to say something amazing happened, but nothing did... well outwardly that is. i still am in the same situ. i still am not seeing how God is going to work here or why, on Gods green earth, i feel called north when what i love and admire and want to be about is totally south (north and south purely being used as a metaphor!) but strangely it all is just going to be ok....

thursday i woke up the most happy person i've been in ages... and there was no reason what so ever... i didn't do anything and nothing had changed... it was one of those moments where i was like "someone is totally praying for me and its changing my life"... so, all i can say is thanx and i'm ready for the next round.

that being said... i totally went and checked out this place that i potentially was going to move to and have decided that i am going to move there in december. i'm a bit freaked to live all alone, but strangely even tho i am desperate for community living... i totally feel like God is asking me to live alone for a season. wow never saw that coming! i will be living in the basement, below this incredibly nice family above me... so tech i'm not alone alone... but it will be strange not having roomies.

i went to class the other day for the most boring lecture on APA style of writing and seriously wanted to carve my brains out with a spoon. But in between distracting my classmates with random notes about me being wonder woman, half of us signed up to play on a soccer league! WOT!?!? me?! play soccer?!?! mwahahahaha this should be interesting! but they assure me i don't have to know how to play and i think we get a team shirt so i am excited!

I also have decided that i am going clubbing on halloween night with one of my classmates jenny, which pretty much is going to rock my world and now i must find a costume ... woop there it is!

peace