ahhh papers written, schedules met, packages mailed, prayers said, partying completed, drinks had... a good end to the week and start to this weekend. I was a bit sad that Love day was coming and i could not spend it with my favorite love... but i figured enough of letting the big world get ya down... i think that if I stop waiting around to make life big and flashy, and just recognize what i can handle... accept my simple self and abilities, and then just make the effing most of it!

over this week i have had such a fabulous time having a life. you know, not wasting my days checking my same boring e-mail or facebook for the 100th time to have zero activity, or wasting my evenings away youtubing it up, or lazily making myself obnoxiously bad food, calling it dinner, and then leaving a hurricane of dishes and crumbs (ok that last one still happened, but it was b/c i was busy and not lazy that the crumbs and dishes stacked up!)

I walked in the door tonight (well this early a.m.) ... with a few hours to straighten my apt... plan my Love Dinner... and sort my schedule and i just thought... "woah I lived this week" and not just any sort of living, but like answer to prayer living!! I connected with God loads, not in a super extreme high sort of way... or in a "wow i'm so low right now sort of way"... but in an intimate and comfortable relationship sort- of way. the kind of way that makes you be honest, even when it hard. The kind of way that makes you really appreciate that the other person stuck around even when you were being boring, or distracted, or over the top and clingy... its like i've finally gone steady with God... relationship heavy, simple, steady!

Then i just lived. I spend time with some old room mates, got involved in a prayer night, skpe prayed with good friends and my boyfriend, loved on some people, let some people love on me. Loved God steady on. Learned at school, learned at work, learned at life... went to a community dinner with my friends... did i mention i didn't plan any of these thing!?!?

I'm completely out of control of my life, and for the first time... in a long time... i've looked back at my week and been proud of how i lived and what happened....

And whats more i get to have a Love Dinner at my apt.

I've been wanting to have a "Communion 2.0" style-event for forever... just making communion more Jesus focused, more relevant, more real... tomorrow i have like, who know how many people, coming round my... simply bringing either a bottle of wine, a loaf of bread, or a bit of cheese. we are going to spend a bit of the Valentine Holiday loving on each other, sharing stories of how we fell in love with Jesus, or how we have fallen more in love with Jesus, or hear how Jesus has recently loved on us... all while breaking some bread... havin some wine... and simply being together...

hmm i should have gone out of control a while ago... damn scary... but much better.... normal as hell but right as kingdom!


p.s. i just had to put a happy love day photo of me and stevie up... because i love him so much and it Valentines day... Love you HUNNY!!!!!!!!!!