we spent the first time talking about generalizations and how we from them, how that makes us view the world and what kind of impact that has in what we do. It was so interesting to realize how negative i think of the world and situations. we had to write this list of generalizations down and all mine were grounded in negative thinking... so that was interesting. we also talked a bit about how we came to these generalizations and what would make us "change our minds" on them. I realized how until i really lived through something or tried it for myself i just don't take peoples word for it. Which i thought was so interesting, because where did the original generalizations i get come from? and why do i so readily accept them as the truth and force the opposing side to be actually experience before i were make a judgement? hmmm? it made me realize how stubborn i am and how my stubbornness might not be grounded in as firm of a foundation as i thought!

then we talked about dualism which just completely blew my mind. we did this activity where we had to ask each other to name three songs or movies. then we had to break those three songs into two categories, then we had so explain why we chose to break them into the categories as such, then we had to choose which group we were feeling was more important at the time and why, and then from that we could pick out a certain form of dualism we have accepted. when i did mine i started out naming a pink song, a beyonce song, and a kate nash song and by the end of answering all those question i had made the dualism of independence vs not trusting people!! ha ha it was crazy! but then we talked about how our culture likes to take dualism and make one good and one bad (which in and of itself is a dualism!) but that just isn't the case... so its not necessarily that i think Independence is better over trusting people it was just a thought process i went through!

but the most mind bending statement of the day was when lucy said that "humans can come up with any amount of evidence to make a perception that they want to see true" I was like "WHAT!?!?!" i quickly let my mind try and wrap around it and then realized how true it was. which really made me worry loads about ever perception i have. i started questioning ever relationship i had, ever life situation, ever life decision. I was in over my head. I spent the rest of the day just being completely wow'd by my mind and way afraid to even try and work out what i was feeling! ha ha 

in the end a trip to the prayer house later that evening and a good plain chat with God was so what i needed. I know i talk loads about giving my whole life to God and that being a daily decision. but i just realized that daily i totally do not offer my life over to God as a living sacrifice. In fact i often feel bad when i start to feel all lured back to old thoughts or feelings or world views... when in reality i think its mostly just because i didn't take the time to present myself before christ. I can't tell you how good it felt to pray out my desire to be a living sacrifice. It also so helped to know that i can count on God to be my standard... that even tho my brain can be crazy (and boy can it be crazy) that God isn't! that he knows what he is doing and he doesn't distort or manipulate reality... but he fulfills it! so that was good!

Today i also officially submitted my application to Basildon Hospital to work as a Biomedical Scientist in there Microbiology lab! i am quite excited to see what happens and am thinking on taking a little trip over to see if i can eye out the Lab (i am so interested to see it!). This evening we went and watched the European Football Match between Barcelona and Manchester United! it was so much fun (they say that it quite like the equivalent of the super bowl!) this lovely couple named Andy and Anne had us over to their house and they had loads of yumo food and puddings to eat! Plus i supported Barcelona so in the end i came out on top (much to everyone else's dismay!) 

cheers!