Before i left england, God and i made a slightly unspoken deal. i was standing in my empty bedroom at the transit house, surround by my two suitcases to go, 3 boxes to stay (which have been happily stored at the lawtons home!!), 4 empty walls cleaned of their memories, and 1 open window.
i stood for what seemed like forever at that open window. looking at a town i had called home for the past 11 months... my mind running a thousands miles an hour, as i remembered too many good times to count. A little angry and a lot more sad, I remember pridefully thinking "God you can't take me away! there so much more to do, and i'm just getting started!!"
At that moment my mind started taking me on another journey. All I could think of was all the times i hadn't stepped up. All the times i avoid conversations, over looked the hurt, was to busy to comfort the broken, to prideful to serve, to me to make it count. I caught my own reflection in the window and looked myself straight in the eyes. I realized in that moment, what a great gift i had been given. The 217 community, incredible pioneer leaders, life time friendships, and basically a more authentic relationship with my best friend, savior, and king! And i wished, in that moment i'd done better.
Better at loving, better at serving, better at listening, better at praying. I didn't want to do it over... No... it wasn't that... its just i finally got it... and i wanted to use it! i realized how much i had been given and my heart was over flowing and i wanted to give something back, but what could i give to God, to 217, to my family, to my friends? my life consisted of 2 suitcases and 3 boxes... and besides how do I thank God and his living community for basically saving me and showing me what life really is?
As i looked me straight in the eyes, a little bit confused and a whole lot scared, that ever familiar voice of the Comforter leaned into my reflection and whispered "don't waste it". eyes brimming with the fullness of that reality, an unspoken promise was made between me and God. I never, EVER, was going to waste a moment of Gods time again. No matter where He took me, no matter how scared, no matter how confused... I decided then and there that I trusted God more than anything and I wanted to honor Him, my family, the community at 217, and my friends by living in the fullness of Gods promises.
its been hard, because it means living in my present while loving my past and hoping for the future. I feel pulled in so many directions, but being firmly planted on christ i've found my footing. America is different. I've been on the run sense i've been back, visiting family for two weeks, running off to minneapolis for another two weeks, catching up with friends, planning my move to seattle. but i haven't forgotten my promise and it has been such an honor over these last 35 days to pray into the vision of working alongside the faithful here to join Gods holy people in unity for prayer.
With a little American, a lot of Essex, and bunch of God inspired creativity; a group of my friends and I gathered today and started setting up our first ever prayer space! Spurred on by the actions of great ones. From the disciples on pentecost, the stanford 24-7 Boiler House and their faithful 24-1's, the church in Kosova and their imagination, to the gathering of five young women at First Baptist Church in Sycamore, IL we are daring to join in the ranks of the great and join God in his moving.
Ready you heavens! for now is the time of shaking. from the foundations of the earth, to the heights of the heaven. What will remain? those vessels firmly placed by the hand of God in the holy of holies. We stand before our God, ready to take our place in the unshakable kingdom!
we pray this friday 1pm to sat at 1pm (true 217 style!) we have a few prayer gatherings planned through the night... and lots of creative flare going to be going up this week as we prepare... after just one day of set up i'm already excited. we prayed over the space this afternoon and i just loved the rawness of God and the anticipation for friday burns heavy!
more to come!
Prayer set up #1: to the left dream corner inspired by gemma's amazing dream space at 217, to the left Painting prayer space inspired by Minneapolis Boiler House (i.e. The Source) and FBC girls prayer groups!
Prayer set up #2: still working on this part of the prayer room this week, but we are having a pray for the nations map to remeber all the work that God is doing (esp in china, kenya, england, dominican repulic, kosova, india, and america... as my friends and I have personnel connections to those places!), plus a chill out space... take note of the orbs... and blue lights... my fav!!!
"Do you see what we've got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. Hebrews 12:28 (the message!)
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