i think in my past, i had a bad habit of viewing the world as a glass half empty of possibilities. As i've lived these passed couple of years, i've been really challenged with coming at life this way. I love being a rebel. conforming actually sucks life out of me. But i realized a while back that just because i don't want to conform doesn't me i also have to be a hater. I think, it was during one of the teaching days i had while in england, that the wise guru alanadan made a loaded statement about how we can't just come at issues we don't agree with by pointing out all the negativity that we think or feel about it. They challenged us to be smarter than that. They told us that, its easy to just pick apart issues and scream about all the reasons why they are not going to work or how they suck. The hard part is coming up with positive, constructive way of encouraging and working out a way to work with what you got. I realized what an attitude of the heart this is because it actually really takes me loving that person to disagree with them. I've been really practicing this or at least trying.

i'm really not sure why i told you that, but i think it has to do with how my heart has been changing over this last year. Especially over this last summer. It really takes strength to live in the love christ calls us to, but i think i'm doing it. ha ha but it doesn't even feel like me, more like christ in me.

I hit the ground running here in seattle and have found it beyond manageable... hell of a busy schedule, but manageable. I keep wonder... "ok, life is really good... when the sh** gunna start!?!" But it hasn't, ever day just gets better. I wondered if i should start worrying about that... maybe spend some prayer time preparing for the crap... but then i just forgot. And the other day i randomly realized i hadn't worried about life or living in a while and God just stepped right in and was like "Good... leave that to me, Tina your life isn't a cup half full, i've made it overflowing for a reason... so flow for me!" ha ha and in that moment i realized i'm so done being that person that lives life half full... my life is so good... and i give God all the glory for that.

A big thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. So many times this year i was out and about in seattle doing things normally that would stress me out and i would just be right in the middle of doing them and realize how i was just in this place and filled with a crazy amount of peace... and i knew someone was praying for me! those prayers are changing and strengthening me... yeh!

which brings me to say, i just love knowing there is someone out there that loves me and is thinking of me and praying for me. It builds me up in a way i just can't live with out. and even if we are uber far apart, i just love that because of who God is, that we can be closer then ever through prayer. it makes me experience love in the deepest way, and through that live and be the truest form of me. its like a fairytale wink wink!