Tall brown boots, no heal, not to dark not to light

A decor fan in the shape of a snail, with bouncy antenna on top his overly cute face

window cling decor, fabulous little sticky shapes and colors that bring any boring window to a whole new level of living.

wine glasses that have been specially decorated and painted to match any occasion... Christmas, Halloween, my Bat Mitzvah!?!?

a book explain in exact detail how i can transform my entire life to a green lifestyle

3/4 length light gray, soft as all get out, knitted sweater

decorative boxes ... so many shapes and sizes and some played music when I opened them, double score! ....

the list goes on and on and on... then i stopped in grocery store to pick up the local newspaper and reality was brought back... across the head line read "Twin Tragedies: Quakes, Tsunami. Samoa and Indonesia: hundreds killed, thousands trapped."

It made me really sad, because here i am in normalsville America totally getting lost for hours at a time with completely meaningless activity of window shopping through stores i never in my lifetime will be able to afford crap from and people on the flip side of the world are just praying to survive the day. How can what we live in be called One World... they seem so far apart?

I just don't really get how I am suppose to be living in this world. Every time i get into the American way of living, i finally will start to feel at home, but then I start carrying this huge burden of guilt and shame for enjoying my life. But when i try and take on the reality of what other people are going through, the weight of their reality just crushes me!

How am I suppose to be here and yet understand life and what it take to live over there? how are they suppose to benefit from how i am living when they are not living near me? Is there a way that the best of both our worlds can come together and exist under the "One World" happy label of everyone getting the most out of life...

i just don't think so...

so what am i doing here?