so i've been in grad school now going on my third semester. Every semester we spend more time being educated about the evils of this world, how the system is broken, and how people (especially the extreme poor) are exploded for the wealthy few.

every semester my guilt rises more and more as i realize how every day i feed into this abuse in simple ways like how i choose to spend my money, my time, and my life. I thought i was a pretty social responsible person, but i'm just realizing more and more how far away i stand from being "socially responsible".

Last semester we read a book by a catholic priest, Groody, called "Spirituality, Globalization, and Social Justice". The book was actually amazing. It dug into some really deep problems and disgust some of the ways we can go about resolving these issues. But the author concluded this book on social justice by reminding us that the only way we are going to be able to change the world is if we start by changing ourselves. A transformation of the heart. He talked about eight different disciples, that totally reminded me of Richard Fosters Celebration of Discipline.

All eight disciples really hit home for me... but one of them i was so confused by... Solidarity. I had to look up the definition in the dictionary.

"A union of interests, purposes, or sympathies among members of a group; fellowship of responsibilities and interests" (www.thefreedictionary.com).

i have been so confused by how i can do this... how do i have solidarity with the poor!?!?

then we had the owner of a coffee company come speak to our "social entrepreneur" class... he was so challenging about how we need to value life and add value to things. He also really challenged my choices as a consumer.

Sense i have just moved to a new part of the city and really consider this a new phase in life... i thought maybe it was time i stop making all the excuses for why i can't actually stand up and be socially responsible.

I know there are loads of ways that i am socially irresponsible, but for the next month i decided that i am only going to shop for food in a way that is completely socially responsible. I did a little research and found a co-op near me.... This Co-Op makes it a point to only sell products that treat people respectfully, pay fair amounts for products, and are environmentally friendly.

I went yesterday for my first shopping experience. I actually had a physical battle of emotions in the bread section... the cheapest loaf was $4 dollars... that 4x what i normally spend... as i buzzed my way through this "socially responsible market" i kept asking God "is this really worth it?"... i seriously had my doubts.

as i trucked myself home with my little (emphasis on the little) bag of expensive groceries... i just kept asking God... "is this what its all about!?!"

God wasn't saying a lot... but then all of the sudden the loudest voice rang out "you want to learn about solidarity Tina... for such a time as this... for such a time as this..."

i just laugh internally.

I am not sure i completely appreciated what i have gotten myself into, but for the first time as i stocked my selves with my purchases i felt like i added something to the world instead of just taking, for the first time food was a valued commodity that i was determined not to waste, for the first time i experienced a little bit of Solidarity...