We are celebrating advent together as a community by doing this thing called the Jesse Tree. Today steve and I sat snuggled up on our couch with the Christmas lights twinkling remembering that the Christmas began as a love story.

The Jesse Tree took us back to the very beginning and reminded us that our creator God said "Let US make man"... our advent author referenced it as 'the great huddle of hearts'... how three beings (Father God, Son Jesus and Holy spirit) came together in love and imagined all of creations. Imagine all of me, all of steve and all of YOU!

It also reminded us that it was in love that we were made and created in the image of God ... which is love.

It is exciting and beautiful to realize how loving and perfect everything was in those first moments of creations. What was that like?

I then played steve this new song I just got. We sat listening to the song inspired by the story of creations. Its screams out let there be light! reminding us even more how God loves to make something in the mist of nothing. To bring light in spite of the dark... hope in the mist of despair. Getting so excited to unwrap more of this story of Jesus!!

I know there are loads of reasons why people go on and on and on about the importance of having a relationship with God and putting Him as a top priority in their life.

***Because we should do go, for the children, because it what our mothers made us do, because nice people go to church, its good for us***

But last night as I took part in our community's night of prayer, these words washed over me completely in a fresh way. How much my heart said these words to and about my father, friend and rescuer- God...


He is jealous for me 
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree 
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy 
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory 
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me. 
Oh, how He loves us so 
Oh, how He loves us 
How He loves us so. 

Yeah, He loves us 
Woah, how He loves us 
Woah, how He loves us 
Woah, how He loves. 

So we are His portion and He is our prize, 
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes 
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking

well its official. I am in the process of meeting up with an 'age-old' cheese maker. There is a 'commune' or 'community' in this place called East Bergholt, Old Hall Community. My hubby went there a few months ago for a poetry event and I got to mix and mingle with some of the people and found out they make cheese!!! I even met the woman who is part of the cheese making process and she invited me to come back out and she would show me how to do it.

Its like the most wonderful dream come true. I've been reading about the cheese making processes lately and love the mixture of my two favorite things: Science and Food. I couldn't be in a happier place.

The hard part is organizing my crazy schedule with work and there being enough milk at the commune! (HA! I never thought I would say that!) But I feel something big is about to go down! I'd determined to use this passion to bring good into this world!!

What if someone asked you what your vision for life was? How about the community that you live in? I was asked this recently and was shocked that all that came out of my mouth for a few seconds was "uhhh uhhh uhhh...." followed by the deafening silence of my brain working double time to think of something really witty and charming to say.

Why can't I be that person that just comes up with the catchy slogans and says, "there you go, this is the vision for my life"...

Then the more I thought about it the bigger and bigger that word VISION become... and the more complicated it was to understand.

In a matter of moments I felt like I couldn't even say the word vision let alone understand its definition and then apply it to my life and then the community I live in.

***DEEP BREATH***

After a few moments I asked myself what I thought vision meant. This resulted in me thinking "a vision is the best of what we hope for, right?"

That seemed to satisfy me enough to consider my life and community vision for a few hours. But again this morning I woke up with that pounding question... "What is my life vision?".

This time I decided to trust the internet to give me a proper definition:

vi-sion {vizh-uhn}:
noun
1. the act or power of sensing with the eyes; sight
2. the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be
3. a vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation

This got me to thinking. I think a life vision is best defined by taking what you see around you with your eyes and then applying what you vividly anticipate with your heart into that situation.

I used to think coming up with a life vision was about removing yourself from your currant normal situation and thinking of this intensely far away and almost unreachable reality and letting that dictate what you live for. But that isn't vision that is fantasy. A vision is about realizing that the life we live is here and now and also hopeful for a future... having a vision is about having hope for more!

So, are we living up to our potential to be hopeful?... Are we challenging ourselves to see and anticipate? Do you ever take the time to see what is going on around you and then apply the deepest yearnings of your heart into those situations and then strive with everything you've got to catch your life vision... to hope for more?

Don't live your life blindly like I was! Open the eyes of your heart and see what you are really living for... you might have to dig deeper then you thought and brush past a lot of surface crap like I did... but keep it up non-the-less because the more you define the vision you have for you life... the more clearly and fully you can make this journey of life and the more you will understand the purpose for you life!

I know in todays world there is loads of things to worship... pop stars, diets, actors, job, book series, money!!

You know this whole 'moving to England to be with the love of my life' has been awesome... but the one down side is that more often then not I feel like an 'outsider' rather then an 'insider'.

Most the time I completely don't even notice because I love learning new things and meeting new people... However!! I've gotten used to really noticing this feeling in extreme cases of exclusion or clued-outness (mostly conversation topic wise).

I must admit I wasn't fully prepared for the positive awesome feeling of experiencing, not the out-ness of an outsider, but the In-ness of an insider!

The other day when Claire (my husbands eldest sister) called me and said that Denise (his mom) and Hannah (his litter sister) were wondering if they could come to Colchester to celebrate Claire's birthday with me over a lunch or tea I have never felt like more of an INSIDER!! in my whole life!

It was in that moment that I realized I'm not just some girl that came to live with some boy in England trying my best to be some version of a good wife. But I am actually someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's friend.

They didn't have to consider me. For a long time its just been the three ladies of their family... but they chose to remember me.

I miss my American family every day. They know and understand a part of me that not many people will ever experience. They can NEVER be replace. But I love that they showed me a love that wasn't limited but constantly expanding!

So that in moments like these I can learn to love more, learn to be family more!

Love isn't divided; it's multiplied! 

I'm so excited for my new job to start. I officially have been offered a position as a housing support worker for 16-25 year olds in my town. This is the exact job that I wanted and I am really so so so excited to get started.

I think what excites me most is that I went in for a visit the other day and got to meet some of the staff and kids. Not only were they lovely, but they started telling me how they are really hoping to have a season of starting some really new and exciting events for everyone to get involved in.

They told me how one of the big reasons they wanted me to join their team was to help them initiate some new ideas and projects for the young people. I got to sit and chat about starting things like movie clubs, book clubs, table tennis tournies, bake offs, days out, football clubs and so many other awesome things.

Then I got my job contract in the mail and again as I was reading over my job description I started getting goose-bumpy at the points where it said some of my job will be helping the young people get involved in the community! *big cheesy smile from ear to ear!*

Over the next two weeks I have just scheduled loads of time off from my normal week of running around like a mad person. I purposefully have made myself as free as possible to hopefully have time to spend with my friends and family before the insanity of this job kicks off! As much as I am going to love working full-time again it also is going to cut into how much time I have to just be around my neighborhood and friends.

I've gotten so used to having lots of time for the people I live around I am nervous that it will be harder and harder to get to know my neighbors, but I'm still hoping that the longer steve and I live around here the more chances we will have to see the neighbors and friends we have on this estate working together to know each other and be the awesome people I have come to know and love!

Our estate is such an awesome place and it is with slight sadness that I move my main focus from getting to hang out with people there to this new job, but I know God is in control of this and even though it leaves a lot of unanswered questions... The biggest one being *How do I help lead a Christ-centred community when my focus is now going to be so divided between work and my local community?... I must trust that God is going to work things out.

There is so much good happening on our Estate. I feel this is a season of things multiplying, but we are still on the edge and that multiplication hasn't happened yet. So it take a a large dose of hope and trust, but I like knowing it is not by my power or might that good happens in this world, but through the awesome character of our creator Father that all things work together for good!